Article by Dr Raghuram Y.S. MD (Ay) & Dr Manasa S, B.A.M.S
Empty Nest Syndrome – is a condition faced by many elderly people when their children leave the nest i.e. home, to pursue their lives and careers. The parents would feel left out and neglected, especially so, when they are in the retirement phase of their life and more so, when their children have settled overseas. This emptiness would lead to manifestation of a wide array of physical, mental and emotional disorders in these people and make ‘facing their age’ a hell.
Though we do not have direct references of the same in Ayurveda, we will try to understand the empty nest syndrome by extracting some relevant and related information from the core of Ayurveda treatises.
‘The Vanaprastha Culture’: Understanding and Management of ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’ through the Ayurveda microscope
From ancient times, four ashramas i.e. stages of life have been practiced in India. Herein each person finds himself or herself in a position of importance which he or she should admire. As per age, they come by default and as per maturity and decision, the last two stages come by choice.
In stage 1 i.e. Brahmachari, the individual is a free bird with academic responsibilities. He can responsibly indulge in his studies, make friends, create opportunities for the future, make dreams and methods to transform them into realities and many more. He is constantly exposed to his parents, teachers, friends, siblings and society and will get an opportunity to realize the importance of everyone and everything around him in his life.
‘I have time for everything’ part of life.
In stage 2 i.e. Grhasta – the individual goes into the next part of the cycle. He makes a family and a living for his family. A respectable job and earning for his family and family responsibilities cloud him. This is when he might not be able to come out of the pressure ring and experience burnouts.
‘There is no time for myself’ part of life.
In stage 3 i.e. Vanaprastha – the person retires from all his responsibilities from stage 3. It is time to hand over the baton to the next generation, his son or daughter. It is a time when he needs a big break and transition since he is physically and mentally worn out due to the mechanic life of stage 2. This is a period when one experiences the ‘EMPTY NEST’, if not all, but many.
Nowadays, people are taking early retirement showing that there is no limitation for changing the pathway of life and living for ourselves.
Vanaprastha is a significant phase of one’s life. In olden days, the kings used to throne their next-in-queue and walk away towards the jungles, to lead a simplistic life. Vanaprastha was by choice. This showed that the person on the chair knew that the stages of life are a cycle and he needs to come there at some point of his life. This comes to everyone. So, this was the culture of ‘happy personal retirement by choice’. Here, he would not bother what his son does becoming the new king, the reality was transfer of the keys of kingdom and disconnecting from responsibilities. It is not running away from responsibilities; it is just transfer. There, you show trust in your next gen.
If this culture is followed even today and if people walk away in a different path and chose to be independent and do what they want to and whatever they have missed so far in life, ‘they will not experience the empty net, because it is he or she who is emptying the nest, giving space for the next gen to manage the business’. And the decision is also made by choice. So, no problem, no egoism, no possessiveness. Only happiness which comes from freedom prevails.
‘I want to live for myself’ part of life.
In stage 4, i.e. Sanyasa, the person travels towards renunciation and penance, towards introspection and spiritual bliss.
‘I seek oneness in the larger self and creation’ part of life.
Stage 3 and 4 are not easy, but they are inevitable, but if chosen by conscious decision, they bring eternal bliss into one’s life. For this, one needs to be aware of these ashramas and also respect them, each of them and take them at their face value and make a meaningful journey in their life. To do this, one needs to be courageous and predominantly sattvic.
Management of Empty Nest Syndrome through Ayurveda
Jara Chikitsa is a big branch and comprises one eighth of Ashtanga Ayurveda. This section deals with Rasayana and Achara Rasayana. Though applicable to all ages, it is specific for aged individuals or for those who are entering into the phase of old age. It is Ayurveda geriatrics. ‘Take care of your health even before you get old’ is the principle of Jara Chikitsa. It is not that you should treat and manage senility, it is ‘all those steps and measures’ you take to gracefully enter and enjoy your old age, which is an inevitable part of your life. Prepare yourself and embrace your old age with love. Here, a person who wants to enjoy this phase of life and be physically, mentally, sensually and emotionally healthy and happy should customize an Ayurveda Care Program which suits him, by talking to his Ayurveda doctor.
Those experiencing empty nests or feeling its vibes should talk to Ayurveda doctors about it and chart out methods and measures to tackle it.
Jara Chikitsa includes all components of interventions which rejuvenate and recharge a person such that he or she feels young and energetic against their biological ageing. This will give them a new energy, not just to feel young, but to work like young people, travel around, do what they want to and keep their health and fitness intact.
It includes preventive and curative approaches.
People experiencing empty nest can receive –
– Daiva Vyapashraya Chikitsa – divine therapies or non-medicinal therapies since this is an age for spiritual inclinations for many people. They may feel separated at one end, but experience a divine touch at the other end.
– Yukti Vyapashraya Chikitsa – which includes external relaxing therapies which would pamper their body and mind, like abhyanga, dhara etc and internal treatments like vasti, nasya etc for internal healing. Some age-related diseases also may be a point of concern for aged individuals. These therapies would help them prevent or to an extent cure their diseases or bothersome symptoms. Palliative medicines, Rasayana and Vajikarana medicines also fall in this category.
– Sattvavajaya Chikitsa – the mind medicine which helps in fine-toning and enriching the mind and sensual compartments, which also includes counselling and psychotherapy.
These are grossly the methods of empty nest management through Ayurveda.
The concepts of Sadvritta and Achara Rasayana will further guide the person to prepare and accept the impending empty nest.
Further in the context of Vajikarana chapter, Acharya Charaka mentions ‘a beautiful nature’ as in hill stations and holiday resorts and ‘likable friend circle’ or a ‘beloved lady of one’s life’ as mind-body rejuvenating and ‘aphrodisiac like action’. People in empty nests should look beyond their nests and visit these options.
Managing the ‘Vata age’
Vata is predominant in the old age, immaterial of one’s prakriti. Vata will take a toll on body, mind and senses if not pampered at old age. One should start addressing the vata symptoms while transiting into old age, without waiting for the symptoms to establish. Empty nest feelings may enhance these vata symptoms by many folds. Loneliness, sadness, fear, stress, irritability, guilt, grief, helplessness and hopelessness, rejection and apathy are the symptoms of empty nest syndrome, which are also symptoms of vata imbalance / aggravation.
All vata alleviating measures including medicines, therapies, foods, activities and behaviours are game changers in management of empty nest syndrome and its symptoms.
Finally,
‘Sukha samjnakaram arogyam’ – ‘Happiness and bliss is the other name for a disease-free state’.
‘Prasanna Atma Inndriya Manaha’ – ‘pleasantness of mind, soul and senses’ – alone will complete the definition of comprehensive health.
Nothing beats a happy mind or a mind seeking happiness in everything. It is a receptacle of all situations and gives courage to handle the toughest and most challenging phases of life. Happiness is a mind set and no nest is empty as a rule!
