Article by Dr Manasa S, B.A.M.S
Recently, I had an enriching conversation with a family member who spent years at one of India’s top institutes for neuro-mental health.
We talked about health, aging, and the essence of true wellness, especially in the later years of life. When discussing what it means for a person around the age of 70 to be “healthy,” he offered an unconventional yet powerful perspective: ‘true health is not merely about the absence of disease or physical capability. Instead, it is about inner happiness, contentment, and the ability to bring joy to others’.
He explained this beautifully using what he called the “Wall and Ball Theory” a simple analogy that holds profound wisdom. In this piece, I’ll dive into his insights, exploring how giving love, kindness, and happiness can bring more meaning to our lives and how it can, in fact, make us healthier.
Redefining Health Beyond Physical Boundaries
Our conversation centred on an often-overlooked truth: health is more than just physical or mental well-being. The World Health Organization defines health as a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, but it sometimes neglects an essential factor — the human heart’s desire for happiness, belonging, and connection. My family member opined that for a person in their 70s, “health” could be as simple as the ability to find joy within oneself and spread smiles to others. After all, if you’re happy with who you are, you’re already halfway to being “healthy.”
The Wall and Ball Theory: A Simple but Powerful Analogy
He went on to share the “Wall and Ball Theory,” which is easy to grasp but deeply reflective. Imagine life as a ball that you throw against a wall; the wall represents the people around you. If you throw negativity, sadness, or bitterness, it will inevitably come back to you — not just as it is, but with a much stronger force, possibly tenfold. Conversely, if you throw love, kindness, and compassion, it will return to you, bringing a sense of fulfilment and joy. This analogy speaks to the law of attraction or the idea that “what you put out into the world is what you get back.”
A quote by the Dalai Lama resonates with this concept: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” This sentiment captures the very essence of the Wall and Ball Theory. Happiness, then, is not something to be selfishly chased but rather something to be generously given.
Bringing Joy to Others: A Key to Emotional Health
Our conversation reminded me of the importance of social health as we age. When we focus solely on physical health markers — cholesterol levels, blood pressure, or fitness routines — we sometimes overlook our emotional and social well-being. Emotional health plays a central role in defining how fulfilled we feel. My family member’s view was that an individual’s social impact — the warmth and kindness they bring to others — is a true gauge of health.
He recounted how he had seen elderly patients light up in the presence of family, friends, or even strangers. Just a smile from a visiting grandchild or a shared laugh with a neighbour seemed to brighten their spirits and often improved their physical health, too. In a way, when we bring happiness to others, we create an emotional cushion for ourselves, one that helps us through life’s inevitable challenges.
Happiness and Contentment: The Ripple Effect
Happiness, when shared, can have a beautiful ripple effect, especially for seniors. When an elderly person chooses to be positive and spread joy, it not only benefits them but also enhances the lives of those around them. This ripple effect works in surprising ways, often lifting the spirits of people they may not even know well. Imagine, for example, an older person who shares wisdom or gives an encouraging word to a young stranger. That simple act of kindness can transform the younger person’s day, which in turn may inspire them to extend kindness to someone else.
As Albert Schweitzer said, “The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” This beautifully captures the essence of why kindness — especially in later life — can be an anchor to one’s health and happiness.
Practicing the Wall and Ball Theory: Tips for Living It Out
So, how can we, especially as we age, put this Wall and Ball Theory into practice?
1. Embrace Positivity: Start by embracing positive thinking. It’s often easy to feel disappointed or discouraged with age, but choosing a positive mindset can be transformative. Smiling at strangers, offering help, or simply lending an ear to a loved one can all be ways to spread joy.
2. Build Meaningful Connections: Invest time in nurturing relationships. Social isolation is unfortunately common in later years, and by staying connected, we can keep both our minds and hearts healthy. A phone call, a quick message, or a friendly chat with neighbours can go a long way.
3. Practice Gratitude: Embrace gratitude for the little things. A daily gratitude practice, such as noting down things you’re thankful for, can shift focus from what is lacking to what is abundant. Gratitude is known to enhance well-being, making one more resilient and better equipped to handle stress.
4. Be Generous with Compliments: Giving compliments costs nothing but can make a big difference to someone else’s day. Offering genuine praise or encouragement can help create an environment of positivity around you.
5. Encourage Others to Pursue Happiness: By encouraging those around you to find and share their happiness, you contribute to a community or circle that values joy, compassion, and kindness.
Building a Legacy of Joy and Kindness
Ultimately, the Wall and Ball Theory reminds us that happiness is not only something we receive but something we actively cultivate. By creating joy around us, especially in our later years, we build a legacy of kindness that echoes long after we’re gone. When we prioritize spreading joy, we indirectly support our own health — both emotionally and physically — by fostering meaningful connections, staying positive, and embracing compassion.
As Maya Angelou beautifully put it, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Our lives and our health are not defined solely by what we accomplish, but by the joy, warmth, and kindness we share with others. That, in essence, is the power of the Wall and Ball Theory: it teaches us that the simplest way to stay healthy is to create an environment filled with love and compassion.
As we grow older, let’s remember to throw kindness, love, and joy to those around us. That way, the return we receive will not only be fulfilling but also a testament to the true meaning of health and happiness.
I could connect this with the wisdom of Ayurveda
Here, I recollected the ‘prasanna atma indriya mana’ which is a part of the verse explained in Ayurveda which explains ‘swastha – a state of being comprehensively healthy’. Ayurveda explanation of health is so complete, then, now and also in years ahead.
The emphasis given by Ayurveda towards ‘pleasantness of mind, senses and soul’ in the definition of health is exemplary and highly appreciable. Manas and indriyas keep our inner selves communicating with the outside world and everything in it. The mind transmits the information gained from the perception of indriyas towards the buddhi i.e. intellect. The intellect scans the information and differentiates them between good and bad, wanted and unwanted. All these things are saved in our hard drive i.e. consciousness as memories. They surface as and when we need them to do. The soul i.e. atma experiences what we experience or send as experiences. To safeguard our atma, the life component, it is important for us to be aware of what we are, what we want and what not, what is rewarding and what is damaging in the long run.
This adhyatma jnana i.e. knowledge of self helps us in knowing the importance of self. With this knowledge only, we can bury the bad memories and experiences permanently. It is the choice of memories that keeps us happy or sad, joyous or feeling low and rejected. When we know more and more of ourselves, we will know what we can give to the world. One who knows about and keeps his atma, indriya and manas in a state of balance after introspection, will be in a state of bliss and joy. He alone can throw the same things, the ball of positivity and joy towards the wall and get back the same in return, in abundance.
Other Reflections of ‘the wall and ball theory’ in Ayurveda
I found the reflections of joy, compassion theory, and what you throw comes back to you i.e. wall and ball theory not just connected to the concept of ‘health wholesomeness’ as explained in the definition of swastha but also in what Ayurveda elaborates in the concepts of swasthavritta, sadvritta and achara rasayana. The explanation of these topics covers many aspects including giving and taking happiness and joy and the importance of personal health through self-awareness, introspection and also through how we behave and how we find ourselves as a small part of a bigger creation. These concepts also explain social and emotional wellbeing. They teach us to be caring and compassionate to all living beings.
Ayurveda also defines Arogya i.e. a state of being healthy as ‘Sukha’. Sukha is a term which has so much depth in what it means. It is a state of happiness or satisfaction or enlightened or bliss or joy and many more, depending on how we see, feel and experience it. Those who are happy are also healthy. Only they can give joy and happiness and spread positivity to others. Only they can influence people to be happy and healthy and pass on the baton of happy culture, a kind of sadvritta, a circle of happiness or ‘club of happiness.
In the context of Vajikarana, Ayurveda explains a pleasant and exotic nature, beloved life partner and things and friends’ groups which help us keep ourselves happy, motivated, rejuvenated and positive are the best aphrodisiacs. One gets these things in life by choice, by a sane decision and throwing the right ball at the wall at the right time.
